I’m giving this one to Skymall for free.
“Pet-sessories, the newest, funnest, line of Accessories for your Pet!
In the long tradition of bringing you the consumer only the best and most fun things from around the world, we here at Pet-sessories have found three great new additions to any Pet Lover’s home. And we know better than anyone, isn’t that right Fluffykins, that getting around the house can sometimes be hard. So that’s why we blessed our little tushies, when we saw these little ‘helpers’ to get our best friend from A (your bed) to B (the floor). Or in the case of the ‘Pet Stroller’ A to B can be over 30 yards!
So when you and Nibbles want to cuddle up at night in your bed, don’t let his arthritis stop you and your best friend from enjoying ‘Will and Grace’. Get the Pet Steps or the Pet Ramp and let the good times roll! (Muscle atrophy, cataracts, ear infections and hypothyroidism permitting.)”
You know, even when I try, I still can’t write this shit better than the real writers at Skymall. If you really do want one or all of these fucking awful, degrading pet aids, get them here:
PAW STEP RAMP. $99.50
Make it easier for her get up on the couch herself.
Ideal for small breeds, senior pets, or those with arthritis or hip trouble, this ramp system enables them to climb up to the furniture or into the car with ease. (And you’ll spare your back!) Just slide the lightweight plastic ramp to the edge of the couch or car - use the optional extension for higher beds or SUVs. The carpet strip offers traction, and snaps off for easy cleaning. Supports up to 120 lbs.
THE PET STAIRCASE. $99.
Sturdy, lightweight pet stairs help pets climb to furniture otherwise difficult for them to reach. Designed for pets up to 100 lbs., especially older animals or those suffering from joint problems, our stairs have removable shearling covers that are soft on paws and made of 100% machine washable polyester. The entire staircase weighs less than 2 1/2 lbs. Skid-resistant adhesive backing; beige cover included. Made in U.S. Oversized items. Three Step only.
THE LIGHTWEIGHT PET STROLLER. $129
This stroller is as easy to push as a baby carriage, and keeps pets safe, ventilated, and shaded. Designed for dogs and cats up to 25 lbs., and especially house cats and older dogs with joint ailments.Pet enclosure detaches. Includes safety brake, carry strap, and washable 1/2″-thick pad. Folds for storage, Rip-stop nylon netting and water-resistant poly/cotton fabric over a rust-proof steel frame
finally! i knew you would cover the lazy pet/crazy owner products.
Comment by April — June 9, 2005 @ 1:03 am
I think it’s too bad people take “easy” shots at products like pet strollers. There a lot of valid purposes for pet strollers, ranging from older humans who need help getting their animals around to older pets who aren’t as mobile as they once were. Pet strollers are great for travel and are perfect for smaller teacup dogs who can’t be walked distances or for allowing a cat to get some fresh air.
Comment by Augie — August 22, 2005 @ 10:45 pm
Didn’t your mother ever tell you if you can’t say something nice keep your trap shut? pet strollers offer pet owners to go more places without them getting stepped on, ran over, if you have two dogs like me, it is great that their leashes aren’t constantly tangled. Don’t knock it til you try it! You must be a very cold person.
Comment by Annette — February 23, 2006 @ 3:27 pm
My feelings about pet accessories are that they don’t seem very respectful of the pets themselves. I actually find them insulting to the pets they’re supposed to be for. So when I make fun of them I think it’s with the animals interests at heart. I have issue with pet owners far more than any pet I’ve ever met.
Comment by est1976 — March 2, 2006 @ 11:18 am