fatty

Originally uploaded by georgeaye.
Somewhere in the last five years since I moved to Chicago, my stomach and I stopped talking to each other. I don’t know when we started to have a falling out, but after years of complacency and familiarity, we’ve just stopped communicating like we used to. We used to do fun things together like roast duck, roast chicken, mac and cheese. Nowadays, it seems like we only talk when there’s something wrong.

I was at least 10 pounds lighter when I lived in England, when I was a lithe 25 years old. Skinny even. Now I’m not saying that I’m a ‘deuce, deuce and a half’ but I’ve definitely gotten a tummy and it’s not going away any time soon. So with the memory of my sleek figure disappearing faster than a new promotion at Wendy’s, I have to question what’s going on quick:

Is my owning a car just taking away the bare minimum of exercise I did each day?
When did I start to lose touch with what is a realistic portion size?
Why is the deep seated desire to ‘clean my plate’ still driving my eating habits?
When did a kids’ meal become the actual volume of food a grown adult should eat?
Why do corn dogs taste so damn good?

These questions seem to fly through my mind recently when I started to notice that I was feeling sick after eating. Not just slightly full, but actually uncomfortable from having eaten too much. Jesus, when did I become such a greedy guts? I’m about six months away from that vicious cycle of feeling fat, and eating to make myself feel better. Then feeling depressed about eating too much. Then binging to feel better. Somewhere along the way, I think start purging. Before you know it, I’m on Oprah, and a crane is lifting me out of a Aeron chair, still clutching the Nintendo DS in my clammy, Cheeto-orange hands.

So the plan (suggested by my wise girlfriend) is this:

1. E-a-t s-l-o-w-l-y.
2. Take any meal that I’ve portioned for myself and especially by someone else, and halve it. Really.
3. Drink water during my meal.
4. Get myself a winter bike trainer thingy so I can remind my body of the good ol’ days when I used to bike everywhere.

I’d welcome any other tips!