Charlie, last name Wilson

Originally uploaded by georgeaye.
If you like to listen to rubbish RnB radio in your car, then you’ll likely have come across this rediculous song called “Magic”, by Charlie Wilson. Despite his managers’, his fans’, his family and his close friends’ best advice, Charlie released the cheesiest song known to man. It’s just sooooooo bad.

A lot of soulful love songs have a lot of cheese built in. Imagine being ‘trapped in the closet’ with R Kelly. Lots of ‘hey girl”, “hey baby”, “hey baby girl”, and “hey girly baby”. I can accept that. The other thing is that Charlie Wilson is a former member of the Gap Band (”Outstanding”, “You Dropped A Bomb On Me”) so he’s pretty familiar with the spirit of hot and sweaty, cheese melting soul music. It’s all part of making sweet, sweet, love baby.

But when I first heard this song on WBEZ or WGCI or whatever, I thought it was one of those ironic, tongue in cheek, “this is the state of soul music these days” commentary songs. But when I heard it every day this week, the deeply sad reality started to sank in

It’s a real song. With a real producer. With a real record company behind it.

Some lyrical gems from this song are below:

Welcome to the Charlie show
tonight I’m going to be showing you things
that you never seen before.

So just sit back and relax
because tonight I’m going to be doing
some things no man has ever done to you baby

All you gotta do is dim the lights
and I’ll show you a trick or two

Now I ain’t no physic,
but I can see what you need, girl
And you don’t have to write it,
‘cause looking at your body I could read, girl
You’re giving me the eye
and it’s making me want you bad, girl
Turn around
now can you guess what’s in my paaaants…”

Hold up a second. “Can you guess what’s in my pants?” Is he serious? Perhaps it’s a rabbit. Or a shiny silver dollar?

What a cheese ball. Charlie Wilson - Magic