Over a tasty, toasted sub, I watched one of the strangest movie to date. I call it a movie since it features a series of still images, played consecutively such that it appears as though the pictures are “moving” and the people are “talking”. Other than that, it’s a movie in the weakest sense as it doesn’t feature a discernable plot, cast is basically made up of Kelly’s mates and the dialogue is sung instead of spoken. In R Kelly’s own words, this movie is in fact a “hip-hopera”.

I had only heard of “Trapped in the Closet” in hushed tones to this point. Hushed tones that quickly develop into giggles once some of the gems of the story get described. (And don’t worry the link at the bottom will take you to a nice collection of clips.) I am only left wondering why it’s so strangely watchable?

Is it the way that R Kelly sings every line of every character with just continuous melody?
Is it that he can manage to make ‘bitch please you must be trippin’ into a softly sung verse?
Is it the way that each chapter comes to a nail biting teeth clenching crecendo?
Or is it perhaps that a character called Bridget is used as a cheap rhyming device to introduce a midget?

But after today I am only left wondering why did he make this film? Why didn’t someone long into the production of this say, “What the fuck is going on? This story makes no sense! Please tell me this is meant to be a comedy!”

All this and more might get answered after the jump.